Turns out, I'm a much better Kindergarten Teacher than I am a blogger. In the big picture, that's not such a terrible thing, I suppose. It is my Almost-Mid-Year Resolution to get better at this. New Year Resolutions almost never work. We'll see how this goes, though!
I keep finding myself reflecting on the fact that the school year is almost over. I'm sorry...where did the time go?!? It feels like just yesterday I was driving to Delta State University to start my summer training and here I am, almost ready to close out my first year of teaching. We're in the home stretch, but we've still got a lot to do before June 2nd. But, man! We've come along way! My kids who came in not knowing how to hold a pencil are writing beautiful, creative stories. Those who didn't know any letters and sounds, now reading sentences and short stories! I've yet to see, in my short 25 years, anything as cool as this...as my students learning (part of the coolness is that I'm the one with the honor to teach them). It is seriously the coolest thing I've ever done. I've said it before but I'll say it again (and probably again and again), there is nothing quite as awesome as getting to wake up every day and know that you're doing exactly what God created you to do. As a first year teacher, I'm not half bad. But, none of the glory can be mine. I've simply gotten in line with what God wants for my life and reaping the blessings of that.I wake up each day excited about my job (not to say that it's perfect, it definitely has its downsides). I walk into my classroom each morning and feel completely at home- in the classroom is where I'm supposed to be right now. No doubt.
Life outside the classroom is another story. I knew that my move to the Delta was going to be an adjustment. I just thought I would have adjusted by now. And it's just hit me this week how much I seemingly don't fit in here. Do I have friends that love me? Yes- I have met some of the greatest people here. Do I genuinely love my friends here? Absolutely- I'd do anything for them! But do they really get me? No. And I didn't realize just how much they don't know me until I was going through some pictures and what my friends at home would see as me being truly in my comfort zone, my friends here could never picture me doing. And it hit me like a ton of bricks: the people here that I'm closest to don't know the real me. And I was overcome with such sadness. Have I been holding back because I'm so attached to my home in Georgia? Or do they not know the real me because I haven't found a place to be real here in Mississippi? Honestly, it's a little of both. So many of the moments where I'm the most real, or where I'm my most comfortable are when I'm at church or with my church family. I simply haven't found that here. And so, outside of my classroom, I don't know that I've truly been able to be myself.
For now, I'm going to continue to go to church, serve my community here, and countdown the weeks until my next visit home.
I keep finding myself reflecting on the fact that the school year is almost over. I'm sorry...where did the time go?!? It feels like just yesterday I was driving to Delta State University to start my summer training and here I am, almost ready to close out my first year of teaching. We're in the home stretch, but we've still got a lot to do before June 2nd. But, man! We've come along way! My kids who came in not knowing how to hold a pencil are writing beautiful, creative stories. Those who didn't know any letters and sounds, now reading sentences and short stories! I've yet to see, in my short 25 years, anything as cool as this...as my students learning (part of the coolness is that I'm the one with the honor to teach them). It is seriously the coolest thing I've ever done. I've said it before but I'll say it again (and probably again and again), there is nothing quite as awesome as getting to wake up every day and know that you're doing exactly what God created you to do. As a first year teacher, I'm not half bad. But, none of the glory can be mine. I've simply gotten in line with what God wants for my life and reaping the blessings of that.I wake up each day excited about my job (not to say that it's perfect, it definitely has its downsides). I walk into my classroom each morning and feel completely at home- in the classroom is where I'm supposed to be right now. No doubt.
Life outside the classroom is another story. I knew that my move to the Delta was going to be an adjustment. I just thought I would have adjusted by now. And it's just hit me this week how much I seemingly don't fit in here. Do I have friends that love me? Yes- I have met some of the greatest people here. Do I genuinely love my friends here? Absolutely- I'd do anything for them! But do they really get me? No. And I didn't realize just how much they don't know me until I was going through some pictures and what my friends at home would see as me being truly in my comfort zone, my friends here could never picture me doing. And it hit me like a ton of bricks: the people here that I'm closest to don't know the real me. And I was overcome with such sadness. Have I been holding back because I'm so attached to my home in Georgia? Or do they not know the real me because I haven't found a place to be real here in Mississippi? Honestly, it's a little of both. So many of the moments where I'm the most real, or where I'm my most comfortable are when I'm at church or with my church family. I simply haven't found that here. And so, outside of my classroom, I don't know that I've truly been able to be myself.
For now, I'm going to continue to go to church, serve my community here, and countdown the weeks until my next visit home.
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