I really thought I was ready. I'd said goodbye (more than once to most people), I'd packed, I'd at least tried to prepare mentally. I spent the last month of my time in Georgia doing my best to cherish every moment with every important person in my life. This being the way we should live everyday, no? But, that's another blog for another time.
But here I was: goodbyes said, car packed, waiting for the Starbucks barista to hand me my grande skinny caramel latte. I was about to be on my way. How exciting!
And terrifying...oh yea. Terrifying. I had no sooner hit I-75 North when the tears started flowing. I'm moving- not visiting, moving- to another state, 8 hours away from my mom and dad. I've never NOT lived with one of them. I don't know another soul in this place! What the heck is wrong with me?!? And then my phone starts going off with "I miss you" messages from the students of my church in McDonough. How was I going to move away from these kids that I love so much? And it's not just the students. I love the staff too. And every single person there. And my sisters. And everyone. I thought about it. Not just a fleeting, I'm-not-really-going-to-do-that, kind of thought. I thought about it. Lingered on the thought. I could just turn around and go home. Get back in my bed. And see everyone that I know and love tomorrow. I can go to summer camp with the student ministry in a couple weeks. And all will be right with the world.
Then I remembered something I had seen on the internet a while back. "Greatness begins beyond your comfort zone." -Robin Sharma. As God's Daughter, I have been called to greatness. I absolutely have to go. Because the greatness that I have been called to at this moment is working to ensure that one day all children in this nation will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education. A greatness that is 100% worthy of my leaping out of my comfort zone.
So, I kept driving. The closer I got to Delta State University, the easier it got to be excited instead of sad. But, the tears were still there, at the surface. I could barely hold phone conversations for fear that I would lose it. And I couldn't let them know that I was losing it. Everyone I love needs to know that I am excited. The state of Mississippi is absolutely beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen so much green. It's gorgeous. So I focused on the beauty of my surroundings and the worship music blasting through my speakers. And not the lump in my throat. I didn't think of that at all, or else the tears would start again.
Delta State University campus is a reflection of its home state. Gorgeous. The epitome of a southern university campus. It was also confusing, but that's any college campus for you. I made it through registration without bursting into tears- a miracle, really! And finally met some people- YAY! Opening Night was a complete inspiration. Having TFA Alum reassure us (me) that it will be okay. That we (I) can do this.
Me being here is completely worth it. It's life or death! The futures of the kids I will be teaching depend on it! Day One was a roller coaster to say the least. I'm not going to promise you that I won't cry myself to sleep tonight (or the rest of the nights this week). But, I can promise this: I will stick it out. I can and will do it for them!
But here I was: goodbyes said, car packed, waiting for the Starbucks barista to hand me my grande skinny caramel latte. I was about to be on my way. How exciting!
And terrifying...oh yea. Terrifying. I had no sooner hit I-75 North when the tears started flowing. I'm moving- not visiting, moving- to another state, 8 hours away from my mom and dad. I've never NOT lived with one of them. I don't know another soul in this place! What the heck is wrong with me?!? And then my phone starts going off with "I miss you" messages from the students of my church in McDonough. How was I going to move away from these kids that I love so much? And it's not just the students. I love the staff too. And every single person there. And my sisters. And everyone. I thought about it. Not just a fleeting, I'm-not-really-going-to-do-that, kind of thought. I thought about it. Lingered on the thought. I could just turn around and go home. Get back in my bed. And see everyone that I know and love tomorrow. I can go to summer camp with the student ministry in a couple weeks. And all will be right with the world.
Then I remembered something I had seen on the internet a while back. "Greatness begins beyond your comfort zone." -Robin Sharma. As God's Daughter, I have been called to greatness. I absolutely have to go. Because the greatness that I have been called to at this moment is working to ensure that one day all children in this nation will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education. A greatness that is 100% worthy of my leaping out of my comfort zone.
So, I kept driving. The closer I got to Delta State University, the easier it got to be excited instead of sad. But, the tears were still there, at the surface. I could barely hold phone conversations for fear that I would lose it. And I couldn't let them know that I was losing it. Everyone I love needs to know that I am excited. The state of Mississippi is absolutely beautiful. I don't think I've ever seen so much green. It's gorgeous. So I focused on the beauty of my surroundings and the worship music blasting through my speakers. And not the lump in my throat. I didn't think of that at all, or else the tears would start again.
Delta State University campus is a reflection of its home state. Gorgeous. The epitome of a southern university campus. It was also confusing, but that's any college campus for you. I made it through registration without bursting into tears- a miracle, really! And finally met some people- YAY! Opening Night was a complete inspiration. Having TFA Alum reassure us (me) that it will be okay. That we (I) can do this.
Me being here is completely worth it. It's life or death! The futures of the kids I will be teaching depend on it! Day One was a roller coaster to say the least. I'm not going to promise you that I won't cry myself to sleep tonight (or the rest of the nights this week). But, I can promise this: I will stick it out. I can and will do it for them!
You will do great. Keep your eyes and heart focused on what God has lead you to.
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